I made a decision a long time ago about the musicians I admire. That decision has been challenged a lot over the years, and just again this week, but I have stuck to it. I’m talking about talking about musicians. So many fans are into the ‘anything goes’ type of discussion, where you say anything you like and repeat any story about your heroes you’ve heard or read. Perhaps you’ve even witnessed what you are talking about, or you have had an occasion to be involved on a personal level with a musician. It doesn’t matter to me whichever category you fit of the above, I just won’t be involved in discussions that are too personal or inappropriate about their private lives.
The internet has made it possible for stories to spread at the speed of light, and true or not, hurtful or not, it matters not. Everyone feels they have a right to say whatever they want, and when you object, wow do you get a pasting from some quarters. People cry “whitewash!” and “censorship!” at you, sneer you are old fashioned and out of touch, or my personal favourite, “He/she makes so much money who cares?” Well, I do. And probably the people you are talking about do as well, because last time I checked making money did not erase feelings.
This all started for me because the musician I admire most in the world meant a lot to me from a really young age. He was like a Knight in Shining Armor to me, a hero, and I didn’t want to hear people telling nasties about him. I still don’t. OK, it can be called a silly fan thing, and I know he isn’t perfect, but refusing to participate in gossip and innuendo has a good principle behind it that I try and live by: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. People say all publicity is good publicity, but I disagree. Just for argument’s sake, maybe at the beginning of a career controversy might be good, just might. But by the time 20, 30, 40 years have passed, and still all your talent is forever connected to nonsense that happened a long time ago, it has to be irritating and I bet it hurts too. Would you want me to attach all your achievements to every person who had a relationship with you and tell all in every detail? How about if I find people who make things up and just lie about what happened and I repeat that all over everywhere? Maybe you wouldn’t mind if I found people who hated you and asked them to talk about you, or I tracked down your milkman, postman, employer, doctor, hotel maid, driver, window cleaner, gardener, or anyone who happened to deal with you and questioned them about your every move and their opinion on it? Personally I would be horrified, and I bet a lot of people reading this would be too.
Look, I’m not advocating censorship, just common sense and respect. Musicians didn’t get into the music biz so their private lives could be discussed by all and sundry. The genuine ones just wanted to give people their music. I’m so glad they did because music is one of the things that has held me together over the years. For all they give me, I think they deserve respect when they are being discussed.
At Memories in Music, I am going to do my best to provide an alternative place to the anything goes places. There are plenty of them around, so really I’d be redundant if I was like that. I am going to maintain editorial control and, dare I say it, whitewash. I freely admit it, I want a whitewash and I am proud to say so. For too long it has been all about mud. Even if the musician in question has been mad, bad, and downright scandalous, that has been talked about to death. It creeps into every conversation, every book, every tribute, every website, and I think it cheapens what musicians have given. Tell me the good stuff, the lovely stuff, the happy stuff! That’s what I am looking for. You know the dirt, now let’s move on. And if moving on is not your thing, you’re in luck! As I don’t believe in censorship, I will not be seeking to shut down the voices who want to keep giggling with Beavis and Butthead – go, run, be free! But if you’re a bit tired of that, drop in and see me. My hero? Yep, his armor is still all shiny and intact.